Trying to stay awake in a boring class

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overblood:

long-distance friendships are terrible because you can’t meet up with them whenever you want and hang out on any given day which is why when i’m president i’m relocating the entire human population into a 10,000,000 story skyscraper that also acts as a bridge from earth to the moon which comes with the added benefit of swinging the moon around like a fucking mace, god damn it’s gonna look so cool. what was i talking about

(Source: flapwagon)

THIS IS IMPORTANT SO PLEASE LISTEN

thedrawbridgethatismypants:

If you are afraid to talk to me because you are under the impression I’m too cool for you, please don’t be.

Not only are preventing yourself from talking to someone who you think is cool you are preventing me from talking to a cool person and making friends and I like friends.

If you are reading this, this is a personal invitation to talk to me. You don’t have to be witty or clever. Just say Hi. literally that’s all you have to say.

autopilot-disengaged:

definitivelysarah:

"No homo" cries the team at the dig site. The head archaeologist sinks to his knees, sobbing. He has dedicated his entire career to the pursuit of homo habilis, an important part of the hominid evolutionary line. All his work led up to this archaeological dig site. But now, his whole life has been for nothing. There is no homo….there is only Australopithecus.

I read this to a group of archaeologists and they completely lost their shit

foxnewsofficial:

yeah okay mom-chan

(Source: foxnewsofficial)